Mary J Blige has gone there – she's recorded a cover of Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven. It has Steve Vai and Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker on it... but will that stop it appearing on our top ten of worst-ever cover versions?

They're in no particular order. That would be like deciding which lump of doggy-doo in the street is the ugliest. Instead, we present our first five scrapings from the barrell base, along with links to experience them for yourself, if you must.

Worst covers Nos 1-5

Celine Dion: You Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC)

The single worst thing about working in the rock music industry is having to deal with people who think they 'get it'. Here's Celine thinking she 'gets it' (we thought better of Anastasia) and instead proving if it was that easy to be AC/DC everyone would be doing it. Okay, it's by no means their best track, so perhaps she can be forgiven for popping-up an already poppy composition. Not so below...

Shakira: Back in Black (AC/DC)

Right, just: no. This song is about Bon Scott, about how his band will miss him now he's dead, and about how difficult it's been to find a way forward. Having said that, it's an upbeat celebration. Having said THAT, it's no reason for the woman who sang "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains " to get away with this.

All Saints: Under the Bridge (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Anthony Kiedis' troubled ode to loneliness and drug addiction is reduced to, well, just a troubled ode. The Chili Peps' deliberately stressed falsetto vocals add tension. All Saint's inability to sing add the wrong kind of tension. The current usage of the word 'fail' wasn't in use when this was released, but the track probably began the fermantation process.

Madonna: American Pie (Don McLean)

No! She didn't! She only bloody well did - and badly too. Some people believe you can't remove the careful emotional observations of how an international tragedy changes lives, and replace them with a limp-wristed keyboard effect. And some people are Madonna - and should be ashamed of themselves.

Britney Spears: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Rolling Stones)

And you don't effing deserve any after this. Run along. Just run along. It boggles.

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